Lessons I have learned from MS

Up until last year, I was sure I was a tough east coast girl who could defend and stand up for myself. I was faced with all kinds of adverse situations, judgements and other issues I was able to face on my own.
Nothing was as nerve wracking and infuriating as the entire 6 months I have spent with little support fighting my doctors.
It all started with my mother coming into town to see my doctors. I live in Colorado and she lives in Florida. She never showed interest before, in fact she ignored my MS all together. So I was excited she was coming to learn about my disease.
I have been on Copaxone since I was diagnosed in 2008. I have had no new lesions or exacerbations since then. I was fine where I was.
Mom and I spent most of her trip at the different docs I see. When I got to my neurologist she told me I needed to be on a more aggressive treatment. She recommended Tysabri. I cringed. Why did she want me to switch? Because they wanted me on the most aggressive treatment on the market.
I told her I would think about it.

Find out where my moment of pause to think took me in my next post.

Hello from a time warp!

It has been a really, really long time. Sit back, relax and I will catch you upon the next few blogs.
I will start with the picture. This was Christmas, 2010. This was the first family picture and the last Chritmas picture Roo will ever be in.
Roo Is the cat. She was my mascot. I loved her with the same passion I believe a parent loves a child. I took such good care of her some thought I went overboard.
Like with the health insurance. In the end it did not help, but it made me feel responsible. I felt like a responsible pet owner.
She was in a movie - Rodentz - which was so much fun. She traveled to over 7 states with me and adapted very well. She was the ultimate cat - she was my statement to the world that I was leaving a violent marriage and moving on to whatever opportunities awaited me.
She lived 16 years. Pretty long for a cat; but not long enough for me. She always humbled me, too, because I could not just walk over to her and feel "entitled" to cuddling or hugging her. She would swat me. Or give me a "paw whapping". She cracked me up. She was her own cat.
As hard as I tried, she died of kidney disease. More cats die of this than any other disease. Her last days were awful. A cat that never used anything other than her litter box was just not making it. Her eyes had brown discharge and she smelled terrible.
Her last night was January 27, 2011. I refused to have her put to sleep, so I gave her fluids everyday by infusion and held her constantly. On the morning she died I had heron her favorite fuzzy bag. She fought so hard. I finally gaver Benadryl to calm her down. She would get of the bag, walk for a minute the fall. I would pick her back up, place her in the bag and pet her.
Then the time came. I gave her a half a Benadryl and she relaxed. Then I felt her last 3 breaths as she passed. Silence. No more fighting. She was gone.
I woke Lyle up and we wrapped her in blankets, placed her in the bag and put her in the bed between us.
A week before I bought a paw block where you make cement and put their paws in it to have an imprint. Lyle went steps farther and we got laminate and put my favorite pictures of her in it.
He then took two rings and embedded them in the cement so we could add more pictures as I find them. I put each paw in each corner as if she were standing on the block. I engraved it with Roo, 1994 - 2011. It turned out so great!
Then I spent the entire week with her talking to her about all the times we had and creating a "my cat book". I was just so happy I could do it with her while she was alive.
Aft she passed, I held her for a long time and Lyle and I went out for the day. We came home later and I held her again. We nt our church and had a practitioner pray over her, then brought her to the vet for cremation. They took her out of the blanket and bed, and I was afraid she would get cold. I looked at her for a long time. She was so beautiful, even as still and lifeless as she was. I told her I loved her, then away she went.
The next day I bought a beautiful box, put all of hr favorite toys in it, washed the blanket and bed and putthose in it. I went to the dollar store and ran across heart boxes and bought one for her ashes and one for toys. Then I got a bunch of flameless candles and a journal.
I wrote to h every night and I have always had a candle lit, 2-4-7 since.
Rest in peace, my Lille lovely Roo.

Sicker than Sick

Well, I have been progressing. i got very ill this summer, felt better the second day of fall then got neuropathy in my right arm. It just never lets up, does it? Anyway, I will post more later. I know it has been a year and I want to keep this updated.