Your legal rights and MS

The last post has brought me to this subject as it is just as important as the medication you take every day and your overall general health.
Legal rights concern insurance issues, handling debt, disability (SSDI), dealing with taxes, working with doctors and lawyers, medical directives, your rights and responsibilities, family law, job discrimination, property, powers, and personal choice. Whew!
Since the last post was about employment discrimination against me, that is where I will start. By the way, I will not bore you with an entire string of these legal bloggings; I will throw them in as needed when I deal with them in my life. Since I am also a paralegal and have worked in this area as well as the other areas I will discuss, I had less difficulty understanding my legal rights.
The first thing to remember is that it is your responsibility to check with your local civil rights commission to find out what your rights are. For example, in my job, I had to file a complaint with the local civil rights chapter because my employer had under 15 employees. If your employer has 15 or more employees, then you file with the local chapter of the EEOC, which allows you more retribution. In my state, I am only entitled to back pay.
After you find that out, you must decide if you need any accommodations and what they are. The accommodations cannot be a burden to the employer's business. For example, adding special equipment for you only is a burden. Adding equipment that is required by law is not.
You have no legal duty to disclose your disability to your employer unless it would make you unable to perform the job satisfactorily. If you want to be a stock boy at a supermarket and cannot lift over 10 lbs and the job requires you be able to lift 50, the employer can turn you down or terminate you.
In my case, I was able to perform the job as it required reading, writing, research, docketing and calendaring, as well as customer interaction. One fine day, I parked in a handicapped spot and the boss noticed. He asked why I was parked there. I told him I had no legal duty to disclose it to him. He asked if it was a fake placard. I repeated myself. He then told me I could not be trusted. That type of behavior is illegal. I decided to tell him I had MS. He then told me I did not look like I had it, he knew people that have it and They were in bad shape.
I then decided to tell the three other employees there and one said she had daughter who had it, which made me feel more at ease. It seemed everyone was fine with it, until the attorney I was working for got so overloaded in cases and became angry with me all the time for directing him on the cases I needed attended to.
The rest of my case is below. I won't repeat it here. My boss was very volatile and was reminded of it often. When I finally left, I was assaulted out of the door, after all the hard work and hours I put in that were extra. Besides filing a restraining order and assault charge against him, I also filed a charge with the local civil rights commission.
I found out a few other things as well. I got an attorney with legal aid for his unemployment appeal (he claims I quit because I gave him his keys and told him I was working  9-5 only and as we were in a federally insured bank building that opened and closed 9-6). He clearly fired me and had asked me to quit several times due to my MS as he thought it "beauty parlor bullshit", he did not have time for it and it was a "bunch of "hoo haa". Also illegal.
He then demanded medical records in front of employees, had discussions with me that were confidential in front of other employees (ADA says they must be manager or administrator of the business), made fun of me and told other employees that I had MS. Illegal. He also told me I needed to quit based on my MS as he felt it was disrupting his firm.
The accomodations I asked for were the following: To give me a few minutes to process his requests (I worked up to 30 cases at a time), although any reasonable person would have asked for that; access to the elevator as I could not climb stairs; and the biggie - no more working over 8 hours a day.
These were all more than reasonable, which he met with disdain and the best ability I have ever seen to be as unreasonable as possible.
So, moral of the story is this: check with your local civil rights division and ask what your rights are at work;
make sure any accomodations you ask for are reasonable and needed;
and if you have an experience similar to mind, you do not go to the court to file charges, you go to the commission and exhaust your administrative remedies first. Be sure to document everything, keep e-mails and any other evidence you may have to file with the commission because they are generally overloaded. After filing, call and get your investigator's name and number (e-mail is best) so you can stay current. You do not need an attorney unless the commission finds in your favor and you go to conciliation. In most states you must file within 180 days of the discrimination and the commission has 270 days to investigate. After that time, you get a right to sue letter and you can file in court. However, court is long and costly so it is best to see if the commission can help you get the result you need.

That's it for now, may yo have a wonderfilled day!

Wherever I go, there I am...and I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

I have to remember this every time I get down about my MS. What is my purpose? Why am I here? I still have not figured that out, but I desperately want to. 
The past month and a half have been eye openers for me. I get the help I need when I ask for it, however I did not expect on thing. And it has twisted my life so badly, I am not sure what to do.
When I worked for a certain employer, he was very insensitive to my MS. That is being mild. Eventually, I left him at his request, as he assaulted me out the door. During the time I worked for him, I asked fore certain accommodations. Before I did so I consulted with an employment attorney in the county and  of course read the rules and statutes thoroughly myself. The more I asked for, the more agitated he got. it was "beauty parlor bullshit" and "hoo haa" to him. He told me I never gave him any diagnosis to prove it; and I of course had given it to the person who held herself out to be a manager or administrator of his firm. She denied it but then found it. 
I asked for a few things. They were reasonable and were not a burden on his business. I am a paralegal (just took the LSAT). In this particular attorney's practice, I managed all of his family law cases (18-25 cases), his civil cases (3-4) and criminal cases (3-4). in a usual week, he also had 5-7 bankruptcy cases he showed in court for and was constantly on the phone with "money calls" (potentially new cases). Potentially new cases took precedence over current cases. He was a very difficult attorney to work for for many reasons, and this was one of many.
In March I was hired by him to run his family law cases. I was told to work 9-5 or 10-6. The building was a federal bank building and opened at 9 and closed at 6, so I had a choice of the two. The job was almost perfect; I lived 3 blocks away and I was able to bring my cat. That did not work out well; she often got frightened by all the traffic in the office, so I stopped bringing her. 
At the time he had over 20 many of which were neglected and some he did not show for because they were not calendared in the previous months before that. His favorite assistant, Jan, tried to tell me what to do, but she was so incompetent I entertained her words only. For example, she told me that one particular case was waiting for something on the plaintiff side. She advised me to put it away as we had other matters. A few weeks later the client wanted to know where the attorney was; they had permanent orders that day. I never spoke to another person about family law again. 
This particular attorney also had an obsession with making fun of people. the week after he hired me he asked why I was parked in a handicapped spot. I told him by law I did not have to disclose it. He immediately told me he could not trust me. I decided to tell him I have MS. I then told the 3 other employees in the office. I knew if I did not, he would. Why? When he was looking for a bankruptcy assistant, the one he wanted was great, he told us, except the former employer disclosed she had a disability. Jan then found out what it was and told the entire office. In secret, one by one, of course, and I would not let that happen.
So, when he was furnished with the diagnosis I gave his "administrator", he then told me he wanted other records pertaining to my disability.   The first accommodation I asked for was that he give me 5-6 minutes to process any requests. He said he would do it, but never did. The second was that I was given keys to the building so I could come and go when there was work to be done. Often I arrived at 7 am and left at 9 pm or later. I worked for 5 attorneys and handled twice the work and never left after 6 pm. I wanted to go back to working 8 hours, like the rest of the firm. He was always behind on my cases and it held me back. Then we would file last minute and that was a stressful drag. 
He used to yell at me a lot; calling me stupid, I did not listen, and that I depended on him too much. He wanted me to sign pleadings and motions for him. Yet that was illegal, and would hurt him more than me but I was unwilling to do it. He hated family law, therefore hated me and so did the firm. I was a distraction, although I had a heavy caseload and pertinent documents that needed review and his signature as approval. 
In August we began to have personality conflicts. Here I am watching his back and he just had no interest. I was not a lawyer, yet I soon learned the people who malpracticed law for him became his favorites, even though I re-wrote his rep and fee agreements, explained the reasoning for COLTAF accounts and had clients come in and either sign rep and fee agreements or re-do them all together to keep him out of trouble. 
Moral: I got a cognitive test, aka neuropsychological test. Not only was it a new test, it was something I was billed over 3,250.00 for and it was the one thing I never thought it would be: a bomb. It was all sorts of test rolled into one, including an IQ test and you did it over a 2 day period. I had not taken any of the tests in 30 years, making it suspect to me. 
Also, read the statutes in your state or consult with an employment lawyer. Most will speak to you for free, and if not, call your county's legal aid. 
I left the firm before I was able to give it to him, however, when my father applied for health insurance with a rider that you draw on (the death benefit) no one would even consider me. Further, the doctor who administered the test, refused to sign an accommodations letter for the LSAT or anyone, even though that was the reason I got it!! Why pay for it, then? 
Be careful about the tests you take. I am currently unemployed and on unemployment. I have taken the LSAT for law school, but was denied accommodations on that one test. My hope is that the health care bill gets passed and I can get the rider and life insurance. If not, all I have is state help. Better than nothing, it falls short of many of the costs that I may encounter in life. 
 As for my life's path, my purpose, it is still yet to be revealed. I will post my ideas next. 
That's it for now, may every day find you happy and healthy! And as my father says - look up!

Deservability

My issue has always been deservability. I just don't feel you deserve the very best in life. I have been reading "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hays and listening to her 101 Affirmations on CD. They have done wonders for me, especially after all I am going through with my health. Another thing - I weighed 160 last year and brought myself to 118 by refusing to be overweight. MSer's have bad balance, therefore become weeble wobbles if they are overweight. I did something amazing. The prior year Erin and I went on the Atkins diet. I did well, even though I could not eat dairy or meat. However I hit a wall since I did not exercise. So I ate the complex carbs and maintained the weight until I got back on sugar. I fell twice and hurt myself badly, then twisted both my ankles. I looked horrible. One ankle is still healing.

One night I watched the Biggest Loser and how those huge people get up there half naked and without pride are willing to do what it takes to change their lives. So I stopped sugar. Then I got back on fiber, acidophilus, and complex carbs. Then I bought Jillian Anderson's DVD, "No More Trouble Zones." I did it 3 days a week and suddenly here I am, a size 2 again. I feel great. I never fall. I feel better about myself. And as a bonus, I look sexy as hell!! I got the DVD at Costco, then I got 2 others and Erin bought it on Wii Fit Plus for me for Christmas.

Then a magical thing happened. Erin started to exercise. She started to lose weight. She started to feel better. Thursday she got lap band surgery, and she is recovering. I feel so inspired, but I am the inspire-er!

Yes, I took the test. It is called the Law School Admissions Test, hence, LSAT. I had a hard time, but my psychic friend Dee told me I did better than I will expect. Let's hope so.I get the score on March 1. Say a prayer on that day. Law school is all I want. I don't even care about a man as much as that. If I do not do well, I will take it again. The school I am applying to in Denver does not average the scores. I also have the best Neuro-team here and get all sorts of benes.

So if I get a low score on the LSAT, I will study at every opportunity. I have all the materials. While cooking, eating, bathing, before sleeping. I would love for you to have a purpose in your life so you do not get distracted. I have to remember, deservability. You deserve the very best in life. 

Shopping! When I go to Wal-Mart I go with a gift card. My bills get paid first. I am on unemployment, so the account rarely gets touched. I am on my way to SSDI so I can get through law school. No one has money to help dig me out of things now. I have to be super careful about my money. I go there for needs when I do have money, but Costco is better. With Erin on a liquid diet for 6 weeks, we have 2 fridges full of food. So I am good. Plus, I got everything and more for Christmas. I Phone, GPS; the list goes on; not to mention the $5,000.00 the last boyfriend spent on clothes and shoes for me. I am good.

My health: I got a booby scare with recent mammography. They did a sonogram but found 2 swollen lymph nodes. I am getting a biopsy this Friday. Say a prayer at 1 pm your time. My family knows except for dad. he is so worried about me. I tell him everything, but this one I left to my brother Marc, who got cancer and Richie. MS: My cognitive abilities seem to be declining, but I can't say; I got a baseline Neuropsychology test and should probably do another. I was declined for long term care and my father is doing his best to get a policy so my brothers do not end up with me someday; mainly the costs and the care involved.

Valentine's day was pretty good, despite the missing boyfriend. My dad sent me a dozen multi-colored roses and I was thrilled. Next guy will have to live up to that and the unconditional love he has for me.

Mom is the same old story. Never called, sent nothing, has no idea what's happening with me. Does not really care. She is writing a book. I told her to keep me out of it. I have stopped hating her. I just accept that she is the best that it gets for me, and I have great friends, like Erin, who fill in the spaces.

I even tried talking with a social worker like her and she was just so awful. She told me law school was not in my future. I told her I carried 4.0's in legal studies my last 2 years of school, one of which I was already diagnosed! She got angry and hung up on me, told me I was annoying her. At first my feelings were hurt, but that woman was caustic and probably did not like her job. I would hate to see what she does with the terminally ill! 

Stay busy, study, and look up. It makes you feel better.