The tremble of tremors

When I say tremors at this point, I meant the anxiety about why things are happening to the body that I have no control over.
These past two weeks i have gone through major headaches like I have never experienced. I try processing the fear and can never figure out where they come from or why. It is baffling.
Two months ago I was suicidal, seriously, because I was taking a cocktail of pills that were prescribed to me. When a person goes to the doctor they expect the right hand knows what the left is doing. in my case, I was on adderol and was becoming very aggressive. So I went to the pharmacist, and they advised me that was the problem. I went off of it, but was still taking clenazepam, wellbutrin and Xanax on occasion. Depressed? You betcha. I weeped, cried, was unable to process any feelings without feeling hopeless - then after contemplating suicide, which is not my bag, I snapped out of it. I then called the doc and got back on my first regimine. Long story; which I will post another day.
These are the incidents that grow up around my disease and I wonder what all contributes to my feeling so unhealthy. I eat right, exercise, walk, play, laugh and do as much as I can to feel well. I have to get away from the drug pushers; which I am no longer on controlled substances, and I am very proud of this.
The tremble comes from the uncertainty of these things and what the future holds, and I get tremors of fear. I am so afraid - what will happen to me? Although I was glad to know the root of my health issues, I met it with bot relief and dread. The relief fads away as the dread fills me due to the lack of knowledge in the field.

*sigh*.